My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
