last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
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