You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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