please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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