Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
