me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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