so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I can feel your judgement through the phone
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize