In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
