My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
