yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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