White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Did I show you my penis last night?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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