I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
