So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
