Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
bring money and cleavage
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
