margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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