The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
one might say we're banned from that church
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
