so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize