Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
