he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
