Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
