It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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