Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
