Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
