Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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