The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
