She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
