Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize