My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
