I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
