Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
