Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize