everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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