Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
