I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
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