Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize