PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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