google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
