Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize
