I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
