Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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