It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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