Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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