just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Text me some of your sweat
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
