I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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