she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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