on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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