Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I am naked and annoyed.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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