Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
