I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
