im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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