He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
