I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Randomize