Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
they need to just BURY HIM!
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize