Dude my mom stole all your condoms
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
