jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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