Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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