operation have a gay friend backfired
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
