Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
