youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize