we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
