There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
