Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
