The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
