dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
She just used a chaser for red wine.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
