I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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