So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
