That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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