...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
