I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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