Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
