You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize