That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Randomize
