You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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