im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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